29th

Today the weather is rainy but the sky of my heart is pretty sunny. I do not know exactly why. Maybe because I had a great time with a dear friend of mine who was visiting me last night. After all no news is good news. If nothing bad happens and no nuisance from others, it is a good enough reason to feel happy.

In a couple of days I will be having my 29th birthday, but I will be in Barcelona at that time, thus I write about it now. I would like to record my last 20’s birthday.

Usually I did not like my birthdays, I was hiding them and I was unhappy that each year I was getting older. To me life was and still is like an equation with imposed boundary conditions on your time and place of birth and unknown date and place of death plus some other initial conditons out of your control. I always thought I would not live longer than 25, because to me life was not exciting enough to keep on going. But now I passed this limit and still alive. I was not that keen to live life not because I had a tough life but simply because of my negative thinking patterns and attitudes towards life. Although probably all the limitations and oppressions present in my country have not been out of influence on this matter.

But now for the first time I am writing about my birthday to announce that I have reconciled with life and feel more comfortable with myself. Now I can feel the joy of life to some extent, although I might complain at times about my problems.

As Enchanted Soul says, birthdays can be seen as markers in one’s life, to remind him/herself how s/he has been, felt, lived, and progressed internally in those past years. Looking back in the past few years I feel the changes in my attitudes towards life and myself. First of all I am in peace with myself. Furthermore, I have taken a more positive approach and been more open to experience new things and more keen to take new learning opportunities. I have accepted myself in the way that I am. The fact that I am non-linear but why should I be linear if life is so non-linear?

For the rest of my life, I do not promise myself to be on time and sleep less to work harder… But I promise myself to try

1- to be a happier person
2- if I can to make others happier too.
3- to be more caring about family and friends
4- To be more optimistic and avoid hurting others