Moodflows

زندگی

2011-04-19T12:11:00.000+02:00

زندگی رسم خوشایندی است .

زندگی بال و پری دارد با وسعت مرگ,

پرشی دارد اندازه ی عشق.

زندگی چیزی نیست که لب طاقچه ی عادت از یاد من و تو برود.

زندگی جذبه ی دستی است که می چیند.

زندگی نوبر انجیر سیاه, در دهان تابستان است.

زندگی بُعد درخت است به چشم حشره.

زندگی تجربه ی شب پره در تاریکی است.

زندگی حس غریبی است که یک مرغ مهاجر دارد.

زندگی سوت قطاری است که در خواب پلی می پیچد.

زندگی دیدن یک باغچه از شیشه ی مسدود هواپیماست.

خبر رفتن موشک به فضا,

لمس تنهایی ماه,

فکر بوییدن گل در کره ای دیگر.

زندگی شستن یک بشقاب است.

زندگی یافتن سکه ی دهشاهی در جوی خیابان است.

زندگی "مجذور" آینه است.

زندگی؛ گل "به توان" ابدیت,

زندگی؛ "ضرب" زمین در ضربان دل ما,

زندگی؛ "هندسه"ی ساده و یکسان نفسهاست.

از سهراب سپهری

Some bits of advaice from Randy Pausch

2011-01-02T14:54:00.003+01:00

1- Dream for life (my saying good, adventurous and ambitious dreams :))

2-Find your passion.

3-Once you find it, follow it. Do not give up!

4-do not beat the ripper by long longer but long well

5-Things we do not do make us regret not the things we did.

The passion is not in things and money. Passion should fill you from inside. Passion is well-grounded in people and true love.
Live your life fully, it is not about the length of life.

2010-11-21T12:40:00.001+01:00

If there is no peace in the mind of the individual, I do not understand how there can be real peace in the world.

S.N. Goenka

2010-11-07T12:41:00.000+01:00

در وجود خویش تنها به چیزی دلبسته باش که احساس می کنی در هیچ جا جز در تو نیست و از خودت موجودی بیافرین که هیچ موجودی نتواند جانشین آن شود.

جوانه ها

2010-10-04T11:21:00.003+02:00

جوانه های امید یکی پس از دیگری از خاک سر بر می آورند.
اما صد افسوس که آنها را باغبانی نیست و چاره ای جز ناپدید شدن به سان جرقه.

خوشبینی و امید مطلق به آینده در گاهی نه چندان دور جوانه‌ های تازه ای را رقم میزند و دل خوش می‌کند که یکی‌ از این جوانه‌‌ها فرصت روییدن و بالیدن می یابد و به درختی تنوور بدل میشود.

2010-09-13T11:06:00.001+02:00

در این خاک زرخیز ایران زمین
نبودند جز مردمی پاک دین
همه دینشان مردی و داد بود
وز آن کشور آزاد و آباد بود
چو مهر و وفا بود خود کیششان
گنه بود آزار کس پیششان
همه بنده ناب یزدان پاک
همه دل پر از مهر این آب و خاک
پدر در پدر آریایی نژاد
ز پشت فریدون نیکو نهاد
بزرگی به مردی و فرهنگ بود
گدایی در این بوم و بر ننگ بود
کجا رفت آن دانش و هوش ما
که شد مهر میهن فراموش ما
که انداخت آتش در این بوستان
کز آن سوخت جان و دل دوستان
چه کردیم کین گونه گشتیم خار؟
خرد را فکندیم این سان زکار
نبود این چنین کشور و دین ما
کجا رفت آیین دیرین ما؟
به یزدان که این کشور آباد بود
همه جای مردان آزاد بود
در این کشور آزادگی ارز داشت
کشاورز خود خانه و مرز داشت
گرانمایه بود آنکه بودی دبیر
گرامی بد آنکس که بودی دلیر
نه دشمن دراین بوم و بر لانه داشت
نه بیگانه جایی در این خانه داشت
از آنروز دشمن بما چیره گشت
که ما را روان و خرد تیره گشت
از آنروز این خانه ویرانه شد
که نان آورش مرد بیگانه شد
چو ناکس به ده کدخدایی کند
کشاورز باید گدایی کند
به یزدان که گر ما خرد داشتیم
کجا این سر انجام بد داشتیم
بسوزد در آتش گرت جان و تن
به از زندگی کردن و زیستن
اگر مایه زندگی بندگی است
دو صد بار مردن به از زندگی است
بیا تا بکوشیم و جنگ آوریم
برون سر از این بار ننگ آوریم

فردوسی

Attitude

2010-08-29T22:38:00.000+02:00

"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill."

W. C. Fields

2010-06-06T21:05:00.000+02:00

2010-04-06T10:26:00.003+02:00

One of the most significant achievements of my maturity age has been to realize and appreciate that different people have different perspectives and look at the world from their own eyes.

detached

2009-12-22T14:08:00.003+01:00

It might look a bit bizarre but I do not feel so much attached to the Iranian traditions and doing them exactly the way they have been before. To me it can be fun to join some gatherings and be with people, no matter where they are from, as long as I enjoy spending time with them. I do not feel that much connected with all that is in Iranian culture, but even parts of it like sticking tight to the tradition of doing exactly things as the old times annoys me. The other part which is annoying me is the ignorance of some Iranians towards the peace and quiet of other people around them, that they live in modern cities and still keep things as if they lived in free villages.

I do not know maybe this traits do not belong only to Iranians but a lot of other people around the globe. All that I know it is not pleasant to me.

31st

2009-11-08T17:49:00.003+01:00

I finished the 31st year of my life too. This time, on my Birthday I was quite relaxed. Neither a special day nor a sad one. After all I had crossed the border of 30 anyhow. Sort of got used to the new Era of my life ;). What is so much awarding about this age is my calmness. Now, I think getting old is not that bad, as long as you know what you want from your life and have achieved what you have dreamed! I am at an age that I am pretty independent and within the limits of life, still can do a lot for get the feeling of satisfaction. I know the answer of lots of the questions that were bothering my mind when I was a kid and have the choice of planning for my life.
Most importantly, I have learnt to be optimistic. This new attitude has been like a miracle in my life leading to lots of pleasant events daily.

New life

2009-09-08T16:39:00.003+02:00

I feel so happy to live in Paris :)! although I still do not know many people and do not speak French. But I was aware of all this. Life sounds pleasant, having a suitable place to live and nice working environment. Furthermore after 6.5 years of Dutch food, I get a proper food for lunch which is quite an advancement. I think I feel so excited about it, because for the first time in my life I chose for it consciously knowing all the advantages and disadvantages of living in Paris.

I hope living in this new place gives me the opportunity to make all the changes I like to make in my life. I like moving every few years. going to a new place gives me the chance to meet new people from different nationalities and learning about their life experiences and ways of looking at life. Besides it has always acted like a switch to change my life style toward a better direction of feeling happier.

From my yogi Tea

2009-08-24T11:56:00.000+02:00

See the soul and divinity in everybody.

My home: earth

2009-08-20T12:16:00.002+02:00

When I was young, I had lived in different cities in Iran. My parents where from cities different from where I was born and grew up. So for me it was difficult to identify myself with a special city saying that I come from there. When people were asking me where you are from, I was saying, I was from Iran and if I felt like telling the story of different cities.

Now out of almost 31 years of my life I have lived 24 years in Iran and 7 years in Netherlands. I have a Dutch Passport but I do not feel as a Dutch person. I can say I am from Iran, as I was born there from Iranian parents and still more than 2/3 of my life has been there. But I do not feel as much as before associated with there. Thinking about my homeland just brings me a sad smile. I feel that my heart is broken from there and the tragic stories I hear from there everyday. I would rather to say that I am from planet earth than from a specific country.

a nice quatation

2009-08-16T11:41:00.002+02:00

A friend of mine told me a nice told me a short but very smart and deep one.

"The only thing that matters is that you go to bed with a smile."

Janus-like life

2009-08-16T11:24:00.007+02:00

Every event, person has two sides, the positive one and the negative one, like the Roman God, Janus.

The negative side is disturbing and annoying.

The positive one is soul-soothing.

The two sides are not necessarily equally dominant in reality.

I usually have the tendency to focus on the negative side, especially when it is the dominant side, which is draining my energy.

But I have learnt that if you just take lessons from negative side and focus on the positive part, the life will be more joyful. Also this way of thinking and interpreting things will elevate your mood.

I need to remind myself constantly about positive thinking. It pays me back well when I do it :).

2009-08-14T05:28:00.002+02:00

ما کلید خانه را گم کرده ایم و تب داریم این روزها. تب دارم این روزها. هوای بیرون خانه به من نمی سازد. اینجا غریبی می کنم. نشسته ام کنار یک رودخانه زیبا و دلم برای رودهای گل آلود ایران تنگی می کند. من چه زود دلتگ شده ام و انگار با دل تنگ نمی شود میهمان به خانه دعوت کرد یا میهمان خانه ای بود. باید راه بیافتم و دوباره پر رمق کارهایم را از سر بگیرم. ما بیشماریم و کارهای بسیاری داریم.

بخشی از نوشته ی مسیح علی نزاد :

2009-07-07T21:42:00.000+02:00

It rains like a hell and I wanna go home! Do not want to be soaked up so have to wait till it gets better hopefully!

2009-06-22T12:42:00.001+02:00

باید حالمان خوب باشد - باید کمک کنیم - باید بتوانیم

این روزها دل کدام انسانی به درد نیست؟
اما درد و غصه هر چند به حق باشد - اگر انگیزه ی ادامه ی راه آنان که جانشان را برای وطن دادند نباشد - چاره نیست.

باید حالمان خوب باشد
باید کمک کنیم
باید بتوانیم

راه های خودتان را بیابید که حالتان را خوب کنید
از حال بد و ناامیدی چه حاصل؟

مگر نه این است که این بازی همیشگی است؟
مگر نه این که همه ی ملت ها برای آزادی جان داده اند و جنگیده اند
داستان هایشان را باید دانست
بگردید و بدانید و بخوانید
موسیقی شان را گوش کنید
شعرهایشان را بخوانید
امیدوارتان می کند
ما تنها نیستیم

حالمان باید خوب باشد
خوب خوب
که فکر کنیم
که خلاق باشیم
که بتوانیم کمک کنیم
دیر یا زود از پس این دیو بلاهت که فقط نعره می کشد بر می آییم

ما در حال جنگ با دیو کثیف و پست خودکامگی و استبدادیم
هرچند هولناک می نماید
هرچند نعره می کشد
بدانید که ترسوتر از همه ، خود اوست
این حرف تاریخ است
اثبات تاریخ است
ما پیروزیم

From Iranian Voice

Without words

2009-06-08T18:40:00.002+02:00

Sometimes I think:

Some deep deep feelings about others, can not be said in words! Even need not be said in words!

Those those unique feelings are best expressed by beings felt; that is their most spectacular revelation!

supporting disorganized lifestyle

2009-06-08T18:38:00.004+02:00

The less routine the more life.”

From Amos Bronson Alcott quotes

پراکنده Bits and pieces

2009-06-07T18:16:00.002+02:00

1-I feel so much in peace these days! I want to record it for myself, it does not happen always and I want to remind myself about it when I have extremely chaiotic mind.

2- I feel very good about myself when I consume something by the last bits of it and do not waste it. It is unavoidable for me not to throw away food sometimes as I am not mostly at home and I forget to eat things. Now that I am moving to Paris in a few months, I am doing my best to finish whatever groceries I have to avoid throwing them away.

Bits from Milan Kundera

2009-04-13T01:12:00.008+02:00

Recently I read a book from Milan Kundera, called Ignorance. I enjoyed it a lot and I would like to record some of the lines of book for myself here.

" A human lifetime is 80 years long on average. A person imagines and organizes his life with that span in mind. What I have just said everyone knows, but only rarely do we realize that the number of years granted us is not merely a quantitative fact, an external feature (like eye color, but is part of the very definition of the human. A person who might live with all his faculties, twice as long, say 160 years, would not belong to our species. Nothing about his life would be like ours- not love, or ambitions, or feelings, or nostalgia; nothing. If after 20 years abroad an emigre were ti come back to his native land with another hundred years of life ahead of him he would have little sense of Great Return, for him it would probably not be a return at all, just one of the many byways in the long journey of his life.

For the very notion of homeland, with all its emotional power, is bound up with the relative brevity of our life, which allows us too little time to become attached to some other conutry, to other countries, to other languages.

Sexual relations can take up the whole adult life. But if that life were a lot longer, might not staleness stifle the capacity for arousal well before one's physical powers declined? For there is an enormous difference between the first and the tenth, the hundredth, the thousandth or the ten thousandth coitus. Where lies the boundary line beyond which the repetition becomes stereotyped, if not comical or even impossible? And once that boundary is crossed, what would become of the erotic relationship between a man and woman? Would it vanish? Or on the contrary, would lovers consider the sexual phase of their lives to be the barbaric prehistory of real love? Answering these questions is as easy as imagining the psychology of inhabitants of an unknown planet.
The notion of love ( of great love, of one-and only love) itself also drives, probably, from narrow bounds of the time we are granted."

" Memory can not be understood, either without a mathematical approach. The fundamental given is the ratio between the amount of time in the lived life and the amount of time from that life is stored in memory. No one has ever tried to calculate this ratio, and in fact there exists no technique for doing so; yet without much risk of error I could assume that memory retains no more than a millionth, in short an utterly infinitesimal bit of lived life. That fact too is part of is part of the essence of man. If someone could retain in his memory everything he had experienced, if he could at any time call up any fragment of his past, he would be nothing like human beings: neither his love nor his friendships not his angers not his capacity to forgive or avenge would resemble ours. ...."

پارسی بان

2009-04-11T20:44:00.002+02:00

نامی‌ تازه بر ما نهاده شد: پارسی بان
در ماه گذشته سفری به بلاد کفر داشتیم ؛). دریافتیم دوستان ایرانی که در آمریکا زندگی‌ می‌‌کنند به مراتب تعداد واژه‌های انگلیسی بیشتری در فارسی‌‌شان به کار میبرند. گاهی‌ حتی واژه‌های بدیهی‌ نظیر در واقع یا می‌‌بینم رو به انگلیسی‌ میگویند. فکر می‌کنم در این صورت آسانتر است که به کلّ انگلیسی‌ حرف بزنند. این مشکل در بین دوستان ایرانیم که تو اروپا هستند کمتر دیده میشود. با آنها بحث کردم که اگر توجه نکنید چیزی از پارسی‌ حرف زدنتان باقی‌ نمی‌‌ماند. این شد که ما را پارسی‌ بان نامیدند :).

My important lessons from life

2009-03-05T22:36:00.002+01:00

A few months ago, I turned 30 and I remember a friend asking me how it feels to be 30. I did not feel like writing at that time, but not I feel like to express my feelings and consequences of my experiences of living more than 30 years.

1-My very first important lesson is to remember that to start a day with a positive energy and be more happy with I have than moping and sulking about what is not according to my wish.

2-Maybe the second lesson of me is to rely and count on myself more than anybody else in my life even the closest one. Of course, according to lesson one I will be pleased with the attention and affection that I recieve from my loved ones and friends.

Finally, being 30, I just feel that I should live life and make it a pleasant experience. I feel calmer in some ways as some of ambiguous and obscure things in my life have turned out transparent now to me.

بوی بهار می آید :)!

2009-03-05T13:19:00.003+01:00

کم کم دارم صدای پای بهار رو حس می‌کنم. هوا کمی‌ گرمتر شده و نرگس و لاله‌هایی‌ که توی باغچه‌ام کاشته بودم جوانه زده اند. شاد و سر مستم نمی دانم چرا یاد صدای پای آب سهراب سپهری می‌‌افتم.

روزگارم بد نيست

تكه ناني دارم ، خرده هوشي ، سر سوزن ذوقي .

مادري دارم ، بهتر از برگ درخت .

دوستاني ، بهتر از آب روان .
....

feelings: land of discoveries!

2008-12-11T13:38:00.002+01:00

Undiscovered worlds just next to you

Big gaps between reality and your fantasies

they all demand a different way of looking at life.

2008-11-03T08:37:00.000+01:00

12 simple ways to supercharge your brain

2008-10-14T17:11:00.002+02:00

I changed the title of my blog, because I do not want to be missing all the time or to write about my missings.

بهنویس

2008-09-10T11:50:00.006+02:00

یک وبسایت با حال پیدا کردم. اسمش بهنویس است. این نوشته رو هم با همون تایپ کردم. خیلی‌ با حاله. هر چی‌ دلت می‌خواد رو به زبون انگلیسی‌ مینوسی و بعدش برات خودش به زبان سلیس فارسی‌ باز نویسی میکنه. برای من که تایپ پارسیم خوب نیست، خیلی‌ مفیده. به خصوص وقتی که دلم لک می‌زنه برای پارسی نوشتن ولی‌ خوب سرعت پایینم مانع این کار می‌شه. البته یه خطر داره، اون هم اینه که تایپ پارسی من دیگه پیشرفت نمی کنه و تازه همون یه خرده‌ای هم که یاد گرفت بودم از ذهنم می پره . این هم پیوندش

http://www.behnevis.com/.

امیدوارم که شما هم از وجودش لذت ببرید :).

from one branch to another

2008-08-22T15:16:00.004+02:00

It is a few days I am back from Iran. Despite all the problems in the country that I was worried to ruin my holidays, I enjoyed my stay there. It was relaxing to stay with the family, having chats face to face that I was deprived of for a year and enjoying the sunshine despite the hot weather. I am back now, I thought I was full of energy, but the weather here seems to drain it all. No sun at all, so humid that
I feel cold although temperature is around 20. Guess what? Since Monday, I have slept each day between 10-12 h. The funny thing is that I feel sleepy when I wake up. I tell to myself I should work hard to be able to apply for a new job in a city that I like but with this amount of sleep? Let's hope that we get some sunny days for recovering!

I have only one interesting observation in Iran. That is the hand sellers in metro. Each year that I go there, I find more and more women working there selling a wide range of things from underwear and sock, jewelries, to cloths and stuff for house decoration. what is nice about it, the ladies who do this are usually well-dressed and do not seem to belong to the society class that you expect to have such a job.

Another thing, there are 3 words that I never remember their meaning despite the fact that I encounter them quite often in the books. So I write them here for myself to review them every now and then

Frivolous: سبک سر پوچ بیهوده احمق
Oblivious فراموشکار بی توجه
Extravagant گزاف عجیب غریب

2008-06-10T14:57:00.000+02:00

I love the paintings of this blog: http://justgivemepeace.blogspot.com/

elapse of time shows

2008-05-20T16:04:00.002+02:00

Sometimes, you ponder and contemplate which of the possible options in your life you should choose; overlooking the fact that future might not leave any of those for you. My lesson is that: take it easy in such cases and do not bother so much to think things over and over, the life will choose for you.

2008-04-22T21:10:00.001+02:00

تو آرام آرام خواهی مرد.
اگر سفر نکنی.
اگر مطالعه نکنی.
اگر به نجوا های زندگی گوش فرا ندهی.
اگر قدر خود را ندانی.

تو آرام آرام خواهی مرد.
آن هنگام که نفست وخواسته درونت را پایمال کنی.
زمانی که اجازه ندهی دیگران به تو کمک کنند.

تو آرام آرام خواهی مرد.
اگر بنده عادات خویش شوی.
هر روز بر مسیر قبلی قدم برداری.
در روز مرگی خود تغییری ایجاد نکنی.
رنگهای نو برای پوشش خویش انتخاب نکنی.
یا با آنها که تو را نمی شناسند صحبت نکنی.

تو آرام آرام خواهی مرد.
اگر از احساسات و هیجانات آشفته که درخشش را به چشمانت ارزانی می بخشند و تپشهای قلبت را استوار تر می سازد دوری کنی.

تو آرام آرام خواهی مرد.
اگر زندگی خود را تغییر ندهی آن هنگام که از کار یا عشق خود راضی نیستی.
اگر از اطمینان به عدم اطمینان خطر نمی کنی.
اگر به دنبال رویاهایتان نمی روی.
واین اجازه را به خود نمی دهی که حتی یک بار در طول زندگی از فرمان عقل خویش فرار کنی.
زندگی را امروز آغاز کن.
امروز خطر کن.
امروز کاری کن.
نگذار آرام آرام بمیری.
خوشحالی را فراموش نکن.

پابلو نرودا

a wish

2008-04-22T20:26:00.003+02:00

I wish I knew how to do drawing and painting, or at the least the time to learn it a bit. Badly feel like painting.

trip to India

2008-04-04T17:02:00.004+02:00

I had planned long in advance to reserve some holidays for Iranian New Year and go to Iran in the spring time after 5 years of missing the new year celebration being abroad. However it happened that I could have an opportunity to go to India with a group of friends. Therefore I changed my mind, since visiting India was one of my childhood dreams. The trip to India was a bit of adventure for me, though an interesting one. I admit that I would not get used to the life-style of Indians not living in hygienic enough conditions according to me. But they are very kind, patient and pleasant people. There were a few things that attracted my attention

1- It is a country that can make me reconcile with animals. I am very much afraid of any type of animals. But there the animals were so quiet that I could easily touch a dog without being afraid of it. Also animals are not afraid of human there. I could feel peace there.

2-What I found very lovely is that women decorate their hair with nice smelling Jasmine flowers and sometimes with Roses. I find it a beautiful tradition.

3- The contrast of traditions and modernity was amazing. They have kept the tradition of eating with hand on banana leaves, wearing sarees all the time. But at the same time you see women with Sarees driving motorbikes.

Mapping of life to thermodyanmics

2008-03-08T02:57:00.002+01:00

We all know that the ground state of a system (the relaxed state) has the lowest energy. Also we know according to the second law of thermodynamics that the entropy of system always want to increase. Combination of these two constraints gives the free energy of system should be minimized to get the most probable configuration. The free energy has two parts

1- one is the energy

2-second is the minus of temperature times entropy.

so always there is a competition between losing of energy and becoming more organized and tendency to become more disordered. Depending on temperature each of the components can win.

This very similar to the patterns in life at least mine

1- an extreme tendency to be disorganized

2- Very much in need of peace and quiet, minimum energy of system.

The combination of these two gives the result that you enjoy an organized life only if the calmness you gain is more that the amount of entropy that you lose to become organized and it seems to be case in a lot of cases like self-organized systems.

P.S. I enjoy these types of analogies, they make sense for me. But do not take them serious.

2008-03-01T13:21:00.002+01:00

I should prepare another seminar about a project that I have just started and I do not know that much about while I feel totally languished and not feeling like doing anything. I have finished the whole pack of chocolate that I had. It is good that I did not have another one, otherwise that would have ended up having the fate of the other one.

Art & Science: Beautiful patterns

2008-02-22T15:27:00.003+01:00

Preparing my seminar, I ran into these nice images.

These nice embroidery-like patterns are smart bacteria who organize themselves in such a way that they defeat antibiotics. Cool Pictures! If you want to see more just visit the website the physics group in Tel Aviv university

first sprouts

2008-02-11T13:32:00.000+01:00

It is the first time that I have my own garden and I can plant flowers in it. This winter I planted a lot of bulbs of tulips, Narcissi, hyacinth and belladonna and a a couple of other types of flowers which I do not remember their name. I had no experience in gardening so I was not sure if they will come out. Now the first few sprouts of Narcissi and tulips that I have planted have shown up :). I am very excited now; if every thing works out I will have a small Keukenhof for myself. It is like growing your own baby, but easier and much less responsibility.

2007-12-20T11:51:00.000+01:00

Today the first snow of this winter showed up. I have a good feeling. white is simply beautiful! somebody was saying if it would snow in Holland at all. I remember a couple of years ago, it snowed so much that we made nice snowmen. I should put their pictures on the web. Hopefully we can make snowmen this year too ;).

a bit of nagging

2007-11-20T13:20:00.000+01:00

I really hate this situation: when I tell to people that I really do not know that much about it or I do not know what to do and they keep on aksing me again the same question in a different way or other questions about it. Come on! even if I know about it, my reaction means that I am reluctant to talk about it. Why do you keep on asking about it?

29th

2007-11-02T13:42:00.000+01:00

Today the weather is rainy but the sky of my heart is pretty sunny. I do not know exactly why. Maybe because I had a great time with a dear friend of mine who was visiting me last night. After all no news is good news. If nothing bad happens and no nuisance from others, it is a good enough reason to feel happy.

In a couple of days I will be having my 29th birthday, but I will be in Barcelona at that time, thus I write about it now. I would like to record my last 20’s birthday.

Usually I did not like my birthdays, I was hiding them and I was unhappy that each year I was getting older. To me life was and still is like an equation with imposed boundary conditions on your time and place of birth and unknown date and place of death plus some other initial conditons out of your control. I always thought I would not live longer than 25, because to me life was not exciting enough to keep on going. But now I passed this limit and still alive. I was not that keen to live life not because I had a tough life but simply because of my negative thinking patterns and attitudes towards life. Although probably all the limitations and oppressions present in my country have not been out of influence on this matter.

But now for the first time I am writing about my birthday to announce that I have reconciled with life and feel more comfortable with myself. Now I can feel the joy of life to some extent, although I might complain at times about my problems.

As Enchanted Soul says, birthdays can be seen as markers in one’s life, to remind him/herself how s/he has been, felt, lived, and progressed internally in those past years. Looking back in the past few years I feel the changes in my attitudes towards life and myself. First of all I am in peace with myself. Furthermore, I have taken a more positive approach and been more open to experience new things and more keen to take new learning opportunities. I have accepted myself in the way that I am. The fact that I am non-linear but why should I be linear if life is so non-linear?

For the rest of my life, I do not promise myself to be on time and sleep less to work harder… But I promise myself to try

1- to be a happier person
2- if I can to make others happier too.
3- to be more caring about family and friends
4- To be more optimistic and avoid hurting others

The story of Maus

2007-10-31T14:13:00.000+01:00

Recently I read a comic strip book Maus which is very similar to persepolis book by Marjane Satrapi in style. The graphic style of these novels makes them much more readable and impressing. Although Perspolis was more intimate to me as an Iranian, the book Maus which is the story of a Jewish person from Poland in the second world war had a larger influence on me. Maybe because I did not know anything about it before reading this book. In this book all the Jews are pictures as Mice. Now I know where the description of Jews as mouse comes from. The book describes how the Jewish people were treated at that time: exactly like mice and as invaluable as them, always in a challenging attempt to hide somewhere. It is indeed the biography of author's father and his survival story.

It was really a moving story. I remember when I was visiting Berlin Wall and reading the history along I felt like crying. But now I understand better that it the Jews had a much worse time during the war made by Germans. I know that always there are innocent people who suffer because of others faults. But this always seems to be the case, as the people in my country should suffer because of the stupidity of some of the dominant groups :(.

no description

2007-10-24T14:28:00.000+02:00

پرتوهای زرین

2007-10-15T18:44:00.000+02:00

نوازشهای آرامشان که به آهستگی چشمانت را قلقلک می دهند و صبح به خیر گویان تو را به آغاز نمودن روز فرا می خوانند بس دل انگیز است.

Change تغییر

2007-10-07T17:59:00.000+02:00

A few times I have run into this sentence “The only non-variable thing is changing itself”. I like this sentence a lot. It gives me the energy to live. This tells me that life is a dynamic process with all hills and valleys.

I get the most devastating feelings when I feel that I can not change myself. I admit that there are things that are out of our control to change, but still the thought of a changeable life is giving me hope. This is to remind myself that how much I have changed over the last few years and how much room I will have to change in the future to make everything more pleasurable.

2007-09-24T21:45:00.000+02:00

:در ایمیلی خواندم که
اگر کم خواب هستید وسایل اتاق خواب را به رنگ بنفش درآورید یا از چراغ خواب به رنگ بنفش
استفاده کنید. رنگ بنفش آرامش دهنده و خواب‌آور است

:) نتیجه ی اخلاقی : دلیل پر خوابی ام را کشفیدم

2007-09-21T16:34:00.000+02:00

باز هم دلم تنک است. آنچه که برایش دلتنگم وجود خارجی واقعی ندارد بلکه تصوری زیبا و رویایی است از آنچه که شاید می توانست امکان وجود یافتن داشته باشد.

The price of being Iranain

2007-09-13T21:19:00.000+02:00

Yesterday one of the professors in our group asked me to choose 1 out of 10 Iranian applicants for a PhD position. He does the same with other applicants from other countries such as India, china, Ukraine. When I told him that I knew some good candidate whom he might be interested, he said that Iranians are one of his last options because:
1- It is difficult to invite them for an interview because of visa problems and so on.
2- The other important reason is that this is a simulation project and they need to use supercomputer whose server is American and the university board has signed a contract that does not allow the people from some countries in a black list which includes Iran too to use such facilities.

It seems that the problematic relation between Iran and America shows itself indirectly in such unexpected situations. Worse than that, we might all know that it is almost 30 years that we are banned to buy the planes which more than 10% of their constituent parts are made in America. As a result we have a lot of plane crashes in Iran that take the life of a lot of innocent people. Some airlines like Mahan Air should be shut down since with their current status they do not meet the international standards. All of these have direct consequences for Iranians and make their lives even more cumbersome.

I just feel a deep sorrow when I think about these issues.

2007-09-10T18:47:00.000+02:00

3 weeks of vacation does not seem enough.

Miss sun!

feeling a bit depressed.

Whenever there is some sun after a long period of clouds and rain, I enjoy doing nothing and laying under sun.

Managing the feelings

2007-08-02T17:58:00.001+02:00

The original picture taken from: http://sare2008.com/

I miss writing! & lazy: scattered writing پراکنده گویی

2007-08-02T17:23:00.000+02:00

It is a long time that I have not written and I miss writing. There were several times that I really felt like writing, but either I did not have time to write, or I could make some time but I was lazy, since even lazy writing uses consumes some phosphor of the brain, at least for me. Even a couple of times I wrote the text but I did not type it and worse than that I typed it but I was too lazy to edit it. As a result I did not publish them until they got old and no more reflecting my moods. My English writings always need editing and my Persian typing is too slow. But now I really miss writing and decided to write though not feeling like editing. I just want to write despite the fact that I have slept 12 h last night and have been late at work for 3.5 hours. The writings have no logic but reflecting my moods.

from: http://home.att.net/~Fractals_3/FotD_07-01-06.html

0-My house is a bit organized now, so now I feel a bit more relaxed.
1- The only useful thing that I have done today is to send the proof corrections of my paper. I hate this journals with page limit that make you o go over and over your paper to make it shorter and shorter.
2- It is more than 4 hours that I am at work, nothing useful yet done. I think some of my friends and former supervisor would say we are not surprised. Especially that one of them told me that you have just started your job 1 month and you want to go on holidays.
3- I do not know if I should accept that I am non-linear and can not work in a regular manner or still try to change this long-lived attitude. I suppose I have slightly improved since 4.5 years ago. At times I have paid expensive costs for my chaotic patterns of life. So the common sense says change it at least partially.
4- Living in a provincial city of Holland exposes me more to the Dutch culture. It gives me motivation to learn Dutch langue that frankly speaking I do not find it a nice one. Furthermore, it makes me more familiar with the logic of the Dutch. It becomes more and more clear to me that the governing culture in Holland is economy and business oriented. For instance, one of these Dutch guys was saying that they tune the number of physicians in such a way that always there are fewer doctors than needed. In this way the doctors have no problem of unemployment and can earn a lot of money. I can see that very well having some friends who got involved with the hospital. The medical system of Holland is not so good. You can wait a long time in the emergency queue; surprisingly Barbania says the same thing about France. Worse that that when doctor wants to decide about a patient first he chooses the method that costs less for the insurance that what is good for the health of patient. To me this does not sound logical or maybe it is, what do you think about it?
5- Something good: I have a very nice and kind landlord. He helped me with fixing some stuff at home and more importantly when I had fixed my wardrobe wrongly and frustratingly I thought there was no way to correct it, he helped me to disassemble and reassemble it. He seems to be enjoying that I have painted the house and try to clean every part of house. He is an old Dutchman who can not speak English. I have to pull out all the few number of Dutch words that I know from the depth of my brain to communicate with him.
6- I am happy that I have good friends, although I am not living the same city as them anymore.

7-Today I discovered how I could read the weblogs of persianblog again. I had to change the .com by .ir. It was really mood-elevating to be able to read your favorite blogs.

There were other things I wanted to talk about, but I feel tired now. I have decided to write my lessons that I get from my daily life but maybe later, when I have collected some phosphor in my brain

Postscript: imagine, what would happen if my boss reading this blog :).
.

Just excited!

2007-06-11T17:29:00.001+02:00

I am very happy now. I found a good house for a reasonable price in the city that I am going to start my new job on first of July. I was desperate, because there were 7 people who were interested in this nice house which has a small garden too. Finally, I was chosen by the owner. Just that I am very happy :) :).

Summer and the colours

2007-06-04T14:49:00.000+02:00

After some rainy days, the moody weather of Holland has become sunny again. This year I should not complain so much, since compared to the previous years the number of sunny days has been remarkable. What I like about sunny days here is the appearance of the city. City just looks colorful, bright and livelier. You can see people dressing in variety of colors and with nice colorful patterns. As a result of this I also got tempted to do buy some colorful and flower-patterned dresses. Such that when I went to buy my hair shampoo during the weekend, I bought three dresses in one run of shopping in less than an hour.

I see that here every small event can give people happiness, while in Iran people can not enjoy what they have (good sunny weather) and even girls with sober dressing are arrested :(.

باز هم آرزو

2007-05-02T15:01:00.000+02:00

دل آدم می گیره وقتی می بینه دوستای دور و برش غمگینند. اون وقت احساس می کنی چقدر مسخره است آرزوهای از سر خوشی کردن. خود من هم کلی روز غمگین داشتم. بعضی وقتها بی منطق خیلی وقتها هم به خاطر پیشامدهای ناخوشایند. چنین زمانهایی شاید یک اتفاق تازه ی خوب شاید باعث بشه که غمی رو که تو دل خونه کرده کمرنگ تر بشه. نمی دونم شاید هم داشتن امید و آرزوهای خوش بینانه آدم رو به جلو برونه. بنابراین من باز هم آرزو دارم و اون هم اینه که دوره ی غم دوستان اگه نمی شه نباشه دست کم کوتاه باشه.

Another wish

2007-04-30T14:40:00.000+02:00

The game is finished, but I still have wishes . It is funny when I wanted to play the game, I had to think to write 4th and 5th one, but now I remember a real one that might be possible. I would like to travel around the world and see all different cultures and ways of living and looking at the world. I also like to have city by city visit of Iran. I wish I get this chance.

The game of fantasies بازی آرزوها

2007-04-26T21:28:00.000+02:00

مانیا مرابه بازی آرزوها دعوت کرده. مرسی مانیا جون! من بازی کردن رو دوست دارم تازه باعث شدی بعد از مدتها بنویسم.

اولین آرزویم داشتن زندگی با آرامش و رضایت درونی است. و چنین آرزویی رو برای همه ی انسانهای دنیا می کنم.

دوم این که خیلی دوست داشتم توی دنیای کارتونی زندگی می کردم. به نظرم یک جورایی خوشگل تر و با حال تره. البته از اون نوعش که همه ی آدمها توش خوب و مهربونند و جنگ و دعوا و مریضی هم در کار نیست. تازه بشه توش کلی کار خارق العاده کرد مثل ابر سواری و ذهن خونی!

سومین آرزوی محالم هم اینه که توی دنیا عشق و دوستیهای یک طرفه وجود نداشته باشه.

چهارم اینکه امیدوارم کسی رو برای شریک شدن زندگی ام پیدا کنم که آرامش و اشتیاق بیشتری رو برام به ارمغان بیاره.

آخرین آرزوی شاید کمی واقعی ترم اینه که زندگیم پیش از آ نکه شوق زیستن رو از دست بدم و بیمار شم پایان یابد.

من هم فرزانه ، مستی، فاطمه؛ مریم و آلسیا رو به بازی دعوت می کنم.

Manyia has invited me to play the game of fantasies. Thanks Maniya, I like games and also you made me write after quite some time. There I must write 5 of my wishes.

1-My first wish is live life in such a way that I will feel calm and happy from inside all the time. I wish the same for all the other human beings.

2-I would love to live in a city of cartoons, the ones which beautiful landscapes, and calm world with no war and nasty people (not like the one of Harry Potter) and with no disease. I like the type of fantastic world that you can sit on the clouds and fly on them and doing many other impossible things like mind-reading that you can not do in the real world.

3-My third impossible wish is that there would not exist one-sided loves.

4-I hope to find somebody to live with that feel happier with him than alone and being with him increases my enthusiasm for life.

5-My last wish but maybe the more realistic one is to die when I do not have anymore the zest of life and before I will lose my health.

Now I would like to invite Farzaneh, Masti, Fatemhe, Ale and Maryam to the game.

I miss school

2007-02-03T14:54:00.000+01:00

This is a picture of the book for the second year of primary school in Iran of 47 years ago, I got it through an email.
آخ که چقدر دلم برای آن موقعها و مدرسه تنگ شد.

زندگی جریان دارد

2007-01-20T11:03:00.000+01:00

هوا ابری بارانی و طوفانی است ولی پرندگان همچنان آواز می خوانندوجیک جیک مستانه سر میدهند.

بادکنک

2007-01-19T10:50:00.000+01:00

انگار تازه فهمیدم که بادکنکم. درست مثل یک بادکنک با یک سوراخ کوچک انرزیم خالی می شه.باید پوستم رو ضخیم تر کنم. ولی فعلا باید یک پمپ قوی انرزی پیدا کنم

Game

2007-01-01T12:12:00.000+01:00

Behnaz has invited me to a game (thanks) which originally planned on the occasion of Yalda night (the longest night of year celebrated by Persians). Although it is a long time after it, I think it is still fun and if you like you change the occasion to the new year. Thereason for replying late (sorry)to the inviatation is that I am on holidyas.

Now the game: List five things about yourself that few people know, and invite five bloggers to the game.

You know as long as I got invited to the game the following questions arose in my mind

1- Are the things that I think people know or do not know about me the same as what people think.
2- I classified them as positive, negative, and neutral features. I was wondering which type of them I should write. Finally, I decided to choose neutral ones.

Here, we go

1- As you can see from above, I have the tendency to take things serious and even make them complicated.
2- I usually like to analyze thoughts and events and I enjoy expressing things in a frame.
3- I like colorful things a lot and somehow I show a stronger reaction to colors than other features.
4- You know, when I was a child, I had colors for the days of the week : Mondays and Thursdays were red. Saturday and Sundays were milky white. Tuesdays were yellow. Wednesdays were white and eventually Fridays were something like below.

I think the one in my mind was more bright.

I also attributed colors to some of the people's names, for instance Sara is blue, Reza is yellow, and Peter is gray. But obviously, I have no logic behind it and even it is not necessarily related to my feelings. Probably it is related to my childhood experiences.

5- I enjoy reviewing my nice memories, although I do the same about unpleasant one at least when they have happened not so long ago.

Now I invite Farzaneh to the game.
Since not so many people read my weblog and most of the bloggers I know are already invited to the game I invite people that I guess may visit my weblog Raha, Atash and Atashdan and Iinvite Sarah to inaugurate her weblog on the occasion of the game.

P.S. I am curious to know how many of the items in the list are really known only by a few people.

Thesis submitted

2006-12-19T16:10:00.000+01:00

I submitted my thesis to the committee and got rid of it at least for a while. I know, I should modify some parts, but I will think about them later. At the moment I want to relax.

The PhD period was tough enough, so that I would not wish to repeat it. When I was in guidance school, I was enjoying it so much that I was upset that it ends and I had to go to a higher level. I wanted to stop the elapse of time. But PhD was a good way of making me to depart from student life naturally, with out any regret. I want to live life in a different style than before.

2006-12-07T20:13:00.000+01:00

گذشته تافته ای از هزار رنگ وپود می پوشد.

میلان کوندرا

Departure

2006-11-30T23:15:00.000+01:00

امرو ز هم یکی دیگه از بچه هامون رفت و من هنوز به رفتن آدما عادت نکردم.

Some people say it is life and it is the way it is, they are right but ...:(.

My recent discovery:

2006-11-27T20:56:00.000+01:00

Write happy to feel happy.

My mood and an inconveniet truth

2006-11-27T19:39:00.000+01:00

In the last few days, weather has been very nice compared to what is expected for this season, not so cold, a reasonable amount of sun and not too windy.
It directly affects my mood, so I really felt happy today when I cam to work around noon. However it is bad for ice skating, it was really bubbly and unsmooth ice yesterday at skating ring.

Another thing which concerns me is the facts about the global warming in the earth climate as was very well explained in movie I watched a couple of weeks a go "An inconvenient truth". I was so much impressed by this movie that I wanted to write about it right away, but you know being busy with thesis and a bit nervous.

Today, I feel good and decided to write. My good mood is partly a result of this global warming, but thinking about its consequences makes the smile disappear on my face. I recommend you to watch it and advertise to anybody whom you know around. I was so much stimulated by it that I thought we should organize public seminars in Iran about it.

Another side point about movie: I somehow learnt some tricks about having a good presentation. It was really a good one.

And since I see that some of my nice friends are coming to my weblog everyday, although I do not update it (thanks to you guys), I somehow felt the urge to write something but I needed a good mood.

Another reason for my good mood is that I could finally get over the interpretation and fitting of part of my data which I was struggling for a week and has kept me totally behind my schedule.

One piece of news! My proposal for EPSRC grant in UK is rejected. It means a harder life and spending a lot of time for applications for places that I am not really interested. However, I am not so unhappy, life will keep on going. Recently, I feel such a deep happiness inside me that I suppose nothing would change my state of happiness unless it is really dramatically tragic. I feel in some way enlightened as if my heart has found the pathway towards the life joy.

Head and feet سر وپا

2006-11-12T23:32:00.000+01:00

sport just before waking up ورزش در خواب

2006-11-07T22:36:00.000+01:00

One of the unwanted consequences of writing thesis is putting on weight (at least for me). On the one hand I am less mobile and on the other hand I have a great tendency to eat much more than I need just to escape from working for a while. As a result, I have added a few kilos. To beat this unpleasant effect, I decided to do abdominal crunch exercises when I wake up in the morning at bed.
It is a sort of fun, somehow helps me to wake up. I do it when with closed eyes while still enjoy sleeping. I hope eventually will be effective in losing some of the fat in my belly. I have tried this exercise for a couple of days now. Hopefully I will keep on doing it.

Bits and pieces تکه و پاره

2006-10-29T19:04:00.000+01:00

بی آنکه بخواهم ساربان زد زیر آواز. صدایش حاصل قرنها سکوت بیابان پر سکوت بود. ... آواز
ساربان گفتی از مغز تاریخ می آمد انگار از خمسه ی نظامی سر ریز می شود.پرسیدم این شعرها
را از کجا یاد گرفته ای؟

گفت: تا عاشق نباشی شعر نمی گویی
برگرفته از : ساربان سرگردان نوشته ی سیمین دانشور

Without asking him, camel-driver started to sing.
His voice was the expression of centuries of silence present in the fully still desert... .
It was as if his song was coming from the depth of history.
I asked him: Where have you learnt these poems from?
He said you would not tell a poem if you were not in love.

From: The camel-driver, bewildered written by Simin Daneshvar

You are suffering, that's why you are playing (Tar) so well now.

From: Chicken with plums written by Marjaneh Satrapi

You are leaving soon and I will miss you. Anyhow I was missing you even when you were here.

Daily+trivial

2006-10-25T13:53:00.000+02:00

I feel very well and somehow excited again.

1-I came back to writing thesis after some gap of 3 weeks. I wrote 5 pages which is mainly review of fluctuation-dissipation theorem. Nevertheless, I am happy with it. For the first day of warming up, it is satisfactory.

2-I am amazed with changes in my habits. I am generally a morning person. I am much fresher and more energetic if I wake up early and I feel that I can do a lot during the day. But recently because of my irregular schedule of doing experiments, parties, coming late to work and the gloomy weather of Amsterdam in mornings until 9-10 O’clock, I can not wake up early anymore. As a result I come to work mainly around 12-13 PM. It takes me a few hours to warm up after checking my emails and reading weblogs. Then, it comes the time to work, but then it is already 2-3 PM. After a few hours of working the hunger pops out. As a result, I do not get that much done until late evening. This has transformed me into a night-worker. To my own surprise, last night (actually, today morning) I stayed at work until 4:30 AM. Then I did not have to wake up today very early.

3-Becauase of some construction in my regular path to work, I had to choose a new route to work. It was a merciful change. I could see some beautiful scenery that I would not have seen otherwise, including a nice square decorated with colorful trees of fall season. I really enjoyed watching them and today I decided to spend some time to take pictures of these amazing colours of fall.

4- Our eyes are the best camera (trivial statement) but let's pay attention the the precious one and know their values. I tried to record some of the beauty of the fall, but it seems too difficult. My pictures do not show even a cent of the beauty of the nature that I can see with my eyes. Nonetheless, I am going to select a few of the pictures and put them on my photoblog.

5- Fall is beautiful (trivial again), the new thing is that I can feel its splendor.It seems that I am departing from my chronic depression and start to feel life.

Ice skating

2006-10-18T11:19:00.000+02:00

Today morning, I did ice skating. It was really cool and I had a good fun. I feel much happier and energetic today and I do not know why somehow excited. I had a 5-week course last year but I did not have that much progress. But today I could remember something from last year, therefore I got more confident. Doing sport in the morning has a great effect on me, so I should keep on going.

The eternity of Love

2006-10-12T22:24:00.000+02:00

You can close your eyes to things you do not want to see. But you can't close your heart to things you do not want to feel.

This was from a group email. I liked it, so I put it here.

These days

2006-10-11T19:10:00.000+02:00

There were day which I wished to work regularly and be at home around 7-8 PM to do whatever I like. Nowadays being at home around 10 seems to be a dream and even around midnight is very pleasing. I am doing aging experiments (studying the time evolution of physical properties of the system with time) that take quite long.
Therefore, I do not think I will make my experiments done before 2:00 AM. It is good that at least these days the weather is good and Amsterdam a safe city to enjoy biking at dawn.

Strong interactions

2006-10-01T17:55:00.000+02:00

As I have said before, I enjoy making the analogy between physics laws and what I am seeing around.
What concerns me every now and then is how mutual the relation between two people is. In daily interactions, with a good approximation we have a sort of mutual feelings about our colleagues or friends. We know if we like them or not or if we feel close to them.
However the situation gets more complicated in love cases. Of course there are a lot of love relationships which are mutual and the two people involved are very happy with each other. But, unfortunately, there are a considerable number of relationships in which one is really in love and will do everything to have the loved one, but the other one is a sort of indifferent, some times even evading. I think I can interpret this in terms of physics laws.
In the limit of classical mechanics, we have Newton’s third law saying action=reaction.
Nevertheless, this rule breaks in the limit of strong force fields where forces on bodies are not mutual anymore. Therefore, it is not surprising that in the limit of strong interactions (love) mutuality of human relations does not hold either.
However, I do not know how to avoid this. It is painful and not a nice experience that everybody might have encountered.

Life in different gometries

2006-09-27T00:00:00.000+02:00

These days it is Ramadan. I have stopped fasting since 2 years ago, because I do not believe in the philosophy behind it anymore. I do remember the nice thing about Ramadan was that all the family members were together at dawn and sunset time on the table; something that did not happen other times. Anyhow, I can not have this motivation here. Furthermore, if I get up early in the morning, I should hear the naggings of my flat mate. She is not the reason for stopping fasting, though. Sometimes I think believing in religion or not is changing the geometry you live on. You can choose either Euclidean geometry or Riemannian. In one everything is linear, but in other one there can be non-linear effects. To me they are equally good, it is the matter of choice and with which you feel more comfortable. I have tried religious life (Riemannian geometry) I could not understand it, so I prefer to come and live in a flat world which is locally equivalent to the curved geometry.

My dissertation date

2006-09-20T20:29:00.000+02:00

Today, I fixed my defense date on 16th March 2007. Hopefully, this will make me work hader and get rid of my PhD. This date means that the latest date I can submit my thesis is 1st Decemebr 2006. Some people say the time left is not enough for writing thesis. I do not know, but knowing myself, I know that I should have a tight scheduel to finish something. Then there are at least two months left for enjoying life.

Today, I had discussion with my supervisors about the draft of a paper. The result of discussion was that I should decide myself about some of the issues. I am approaching end of my PhD. I should be independent and take stand, somewaht scary!
More than that I should learn to take risk in science (and probably in life), which is even more scary. Somehow, I feel bewildered.

Cartoon! cartoon!

2006-09-19T20:05:00.000+02:00

This video demonstrates he wave-particle duality concept in quantum mechanics, elegantly. It is a cartoon about quantum version of Young's Double Slit Experiment.
Indeed, this is part of the movie What a bleep that I wrote about in one of my previous posts.

Missing my uncle’s garden!

2006-09-09T18:26:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, the weather was great! Relatively warm and pleasantly sunny. I had woken up late and did feel obliged to be on time at work, since the last few days I had worked very hard. Therefore, I thought, I would be entitled to take advantage of the weather and go around Amsterdam to take some nice pictures of my favorite topics (flowers) that I had seen the day before on my way going to AMOLF for discussion. I enjoyed my time so much that it took me more than an hour to have fun. As a result I came to work at 13:30 and today, which is a sunny day as well, I have to work. But doesn’t matter! I enjoyed my time yesterday.

You know, Dutch people are really lovely people. They really pay attention to the view of their houses and very beautiful gardens in front of their places though small.
I remember, one day when I was taking pictures of one of the very fresh poppies in front of a house, I saw the owners of the house. The old guy could not speak English, thus asked her daughter to come and explain about the flowers. Then the lady came and explained for me in detail about all the flowers, even the ones that I had overlooked. She provided me the information about when they must be planted, when the were flowering and how long the would survive.

Yesterday, one of these gardens, I do not know why reminded me of the garden of one of my uncles. They do not have a big garden in their yard; the total area of the house, including the backyard is 100 m2. But since my uncle and his wife, both are in love of plants, their garden is always full of fruit trees and flowers. I remember their fig and pomegranate trees were always cropping earlier than ours. So they always were sharing the very first fruit of their garden with us. More than that, it was full of colorful roses. First, in the spring time, the wall of the yard was fully covered with red roses. Later roses of other colors and other types of flowers were contributing to the beauty of the garden. Eventually, the white roses were the most resistant version lasting until the late autumn. In the last two years, I have gone to home only in winter time and I do not have a fresh memory of their garden. I really miss my uncle and his family plus their garden.
This garden picture is on the memory of my uncle’s backyard.

Anxiety

2006-09-05T15:32:00.000+02:00

Which of the following pictures does reflect the state of anxiety more? Please let me know your opinion about it. I will let you know mine.

What do you do when you are nervous? I do read a novel, if a proper one, it takes me to a different world. Therefore, I forget about the cause of my nervousness.

P.S. have a look at this website
if you have time. It is amzing what you can do with math (conformal maps).

Discovered talent

2006-08-31T21:56:00.000+02:00

It is 9:30 PM and I am sorting out my stuff to go home. By chance, I run into one of the group emails that a friend of mine has sent me 1.5 months ago. I read it and feel homesick! I miss home and I miss my mom!

It is a beautiful letter of a son sorrowing for her mother's death. In addition, it is an impressing story about unveiling the talent of a brilliant painter "Mokarrameh Ghanbari". Look at this site to know more about this unique painter with an internatianl renown: http://www.mokarrameh.com/index.htm

I also have enclosed what I read tonight. It was published in the Iranian newspaper "Hamshahri". I really enjoyed reading it. It was awsom.

چاپ شده در روزنامه همشهری هشتم اسفند هشتاد وچهار / ستون هنر
برای ِ مکرمه ی قنبری، نقاش آفتابی ِدهکوره ای بارانی

روزگاری در کوچه ای بن بست و ملال آور خانه ای داشتم که دیدن ِ هر روز ِ زنی سالخورده زیبایش می کرد .
زنی سالخورده که زیر چادر نماز ِ فلفل نمکی ِ کهنه اش ، در رفت و آمدی هر روزه زنبیلی خالی را حمل می کرد تا آبرو داری کند .
کاش اینجا نمی آمدم که امروزم اینهمه دلتنگ ِ آن زن شَوَد.
باید یکی از همین روزهای ِ همیشه خالی ِدر به در برای بازپس گرفتن بوی ِ چادر نمازش به آنجا بروم . اصلا شاید اگرخدا خواست همانجا بمانم و برنگردم به این خیابانهای باز ِ به ظاهر گشاده دست ِ بی فرزانگی .

خسته از" همه و همهمه " خواهم رفت که اینجا تشنگیت را نه پیاله ی آبیست ، نه چکه ی بارانی.
هواش آلوده / درد آلوده / دواش آلوده . . .

اینها را گفتم که بگویم چرا به کوچه ی نفیسی ِ شلوغ ِ پیچ شمیران بال زدم در پی ِ دیدن ِ فرزانگی ِ زنانه ی ِهنرمندی بی اوستاد و شاگردی بی کارگاه .
اینها را گفتم تا حرفهام ، تب ِ بی دلیلی به خیالت نرسد .
اینها همه برای این بود که بگویم من میان ِ اینهمه دود و آهن وسنگ ، مردی را دیدم که مادر ِ ذهن ِ فرسوده ی مادرش شد ، دست ِ خیال مادرش را گرفت و پا بپا برد وشیوه ی راه رفتنش آموخت و بزرگش کرد . مردی که از لهجه ی روستایی و ُسلوکِ روستایی ِ مادرش عار نداشت . مردی که فقط و فقط اجازه داد، دل ِ پیرِ مادرش نفس بکشد و نفسش که تازه شد، دنیایی را متحیر کرد .

همه را برای این گفتم که بدانی چگونه از پیچ پیچ این همه خیابانهای بن بست رد شدم تا خراب شوم به خانه ی پر تصویری که ازو جز انتظار بارانم نبود .
بالا که رفتم پچ پچ دستها و رنگهای ِِ زنانه ای ،گوشم را ، دلم را، ثانیه های ُمکررِ بی روحم را ُپر کرد . بالا که رفتم صدای سوزناک ِ موسیقی ای آفریده شده از دستان ِ مردی که روح ِ مادرش درو دمیده شده بود، بیداد می کرد . بالا که رفتم مردِ روبروم به اشک و خاطره نشسته بود بی غروری عبث .
بالا که رفتم من بودم ، من وروح ِ مکرمه و هیچکس .

حالا من این بالام .

بارانی و بی چتر که چتر َمَدد نمی کُنَدَت وقتی یکسره خیس ِ باران شوی .

من اینجا خیس بارانی تازه آمدم و بالای بالای بالاتر از جهان ِ دیو و د َدَم.
من اینجا اقرار می کنم که خالی ترینم وچقدر َبَدم .

این همه درس خواندم ، قلم زدم ، به رنگ و قلمو متصل شدم . ازین همه هنرورزی ِ زیاده از حد سنگین شدم وآخرش سبکباری را، پریدن را ، فراموش کرده ام .
به شمانمی گویم هر کسی که میخوانی ام ! از خودم خرده می گیرم . . .

بفرمایید چای بانو !
قصه ام بلند است و شما خسته ایدازین راه دراز.
می دانم .
خسته تر منم بانو! که مادرم را به خاک ِ حیاط ِ خانه اش سپردم و آمدم تا موسم ِ وعده های ِ دور،
خسته تر منم بانو ! چشمم کور .

چشمش گریه می کرد . تابلوی روی دیوارِ خانه اش گریه می کرد و روح ِ مکرمه وقتی دست به موهای ِمیانسالی پسرش می کشید ،هم .

راستی بانو گوشها یتان را همراهتان آورده اید ؟
این روزها همه گوشهاشان را در پستو پنهان می کنند وبعد به اینجا می آیند . به نگاهی و وعده ای خرسندم می کنند
و فردا فراموششان می شود .
اگر گوشهایتان را همراه آوردید بشنوید :

اینها تابلوهای مادر ِ من نیست برای همه ی آدمهاست
امانت است از مکرمه . من جا برای اینهمه امانت ندارم .
کجا بگذارمش که قدردانش باشند .می شنوید بانو ؟!

و قصه اش را گفت :

یکی بود که خیلی ها می دیدندش .
اربابی بود که فضیلتش زنهای بسیار داشتن و رعیتهای بسیار خواستن بود. ارباب
از بین ِ دختران ِ رعیت / دختر سیزده ساله ای را برای شهوت ِپنجاه وچند ساله اش گرفت.

زور بود آن روزها بانو ! / گرفت و به خانه اش آورد
پدر من بود بانو!
پسر اویم و مکرمه.

مکرمه زایید و بزرگ کرد و کار کردو کار کرد وکار...
شاید خیلی کمتر از سن ِسی و چند سالگیش بود که بیوه شد.
زحمت ، می دانی چیست بانو؟ !
زحمت کشید تا نُه کودک ِ یتیمش را بزرگ کرد.

زنان ِ زمان ِ ما پیر و مچاله و مریض می میرند در ذات ِ زندگی خالیشان.

مادر ِقصه ی من هم مرده بود و راه می رفت.

پیرزن ِ دردکشیده ی ِ شصت و چند ساله ی رنجوری شده بود که وقتی گاو ِ عزیز دردانه اش را به خیال ِآرامشش ، فروختند ، افسرده و کز کرده به د نجی گم ، مویه می کرد.

من از آن مادرم بانو ! پسر ِ مکرمه .

یک روز به روستام رفتم برای سرکشی .
هنوز مادر دلتنگ ِ گاوش بود و بیمار، دیدمش که روی سنگی شکل ِ گاوش را کشیده .
از ته مانده ی رنگهای نامرغوبم و با انگشتهای زبر ِ کار کرده اش، گاوش را کشیده بود بانو !

درد کشیده بود بانو! زخم دیده بود بانو! واگرنه این همه زیبا یی ساخته ی وحی است و لاغیر .

تمام ِ رنگها م راروی زمینش گذاشتم و قلموهام .
مادرم نقشها کشید . رعیت ِ ناتوان و ارباب ِ ستمگر .
لیلی و مجنون ، زنهای زیاد و اربابی لم داده .

همه ی قصه هایی که دیده بود ، تاکید میکنم بانو! دیده بود و نه شنیده ، را کشید.

چای تازه دم آوردم . نوش

و من به این فکر می کردم که
دانشگاه رفتم تاازظرافت ِ بدترین را برای خود خواستن بی بهره شوم ؟ مکرمه مادرش بود که دانشگاه نرفت .
عضو یکی از انجمنهای هنرمندان شدم تا تسلیم تمناهای ِ روزمره ی ِخود شوم ، دغدغه ی جایزه گرفتن خرابم کند و نقشهایم بمیرد و حسم نیز؟
(گورهای بی فاتحه زیاد داریم توی این انجمنها)
مکرمه مادر ِ مکتب ندیده اش بود که عضو ِ انجمنی هم نبود.

به شمانمی گویم هر کسی که میخوانی ام ! . . .

من پسر ِ مکرمه ام.
هموکه وقتی که رنگ و نقشش جان گرفت، دردهاش یادش رفت همو که با پروراندن ِ حسش ، جوانی اش برگشت و غصه هایش تارانده شد .
من پسر ِ اویم بانو !

و من به این فکر می کردم که به خیال ِ خامم ،
فاضل و هنرمند شدم تا موشکافانه جراحی کنم ؟ پوست را از گوشت و گوشت را از استخوان جدا کنم و در حال تشریح امراض بسیاری را کشف کنم ولی اصل را درنیابم ؟
مکرمه چه خوب که اظهار ِ فضل نمی کرد .
کم مایه شدم ، سخت مشغول ِ غرور و خودپسندی ، بی سکویی برای پریدن. . .
مکرمه چه خوب که نمی دانست که است وچه می کند .

به شمانمی گویم هر کسی که میخوانی ام ! . . .

باران بند نمی آید . یکریز می بارد و من ، خوشحالم که اشکهام بازیگر ِ قطره هاش شدند.

- شما مادر دارید بانو ؟!
-
-
- ومن یادم آمد مادرم سالهاست فراموشی گرفته و با اشباحی خیالی حرف می زند ازدرد ِ بی کسی و من حتی، فرصتی برای نگاهِ به او هم ندارم .
- شاید اگر مثل او بودم ، مادر ِ پیرم ، من ِ نادان ِ درگیر را می شناخت .

- مادرم ؟ راستی کجاست ؟ لباس تنش چيست ؟چه مي خورد حالا كه جانش نمانده تا آبي گرم كند .
- دلتنگ که می شود ، غمش را با که می گوید؟
- اصلا نقاشی بلد است ؟
- می توانست شاعر ِ خوبی باشد ؟
- می توانست ؟ اگر رختهای ِچرک ِ زندگی ِمن ، امانش می داد ؟
لعنت به این خیابانهای شلوغ ِ پر همهمه .
لعنت به اینهمه ....
-
- چایم سرد ِ سرد است ...آقا !
- سرد .

- شما مادرید، بانو !؟
-

- و من آرزو کردم کاش مادری بودم بی دانشی کذایی وبی اینهمه سَنَد و مدرک و جایزه برای اثبات ِ حقانیتم .
- ومن آرزو کردم کاش اینهمه بهانه ی کارهای مانده و کتابهای نخوانده ، غذای ته مانده ی فرزندم نمی شد .

- چایم سرد است و تلخ . . . آقا !
- تلخ .

خوش به حال زنان که مادر می شوند بانو!

و من فکر می کردم ، مادر که نباید حتمأ آراسته به لباسی زنانه باشد.
مادر که نباید حتمأ دردِ زایمان بکشد و هزار دلیل ِ دیدنی که مادرش بنامند .
مادر که نباید ، نان پنجره ای خوب بپزد و لباسها راخوب وصله کند.
مادر که اینهمه هست و همه اش این نیست.
و مگر مرد ِ روبه روم مادر نبود که ذهن ِ نوپای ِ مادرش را بزرگ کرد ؟
مگرمرد ِ روبه روم مادر نبود که بال ِ مادرش شد ، وبالش نشد ؟

آمدم تا فرزانگی بگیرم، بیگانه شدم با خودم که اینهمه فخر می فروشم بی هیچ زیورِ ُمّدَللی .
بالای بلند ِ دیوارهای ِ اتاقش ساکتم کرد . نقاشی ِ زنی بود که بهِ رام کردن دیوی سرگرم بود ، شاید مکرمه نقش ِ خودش را به تابلو زد که دهی را ، نه، شهری، نه ، بی دروغترین اگر باشم ، دنیایی را به شگفتی رام ِ تصاویرش کرد.

آمدم از معجزه ی رنگهاش بپرسم ، گفتم لابُد رنگهاش جورِ دیگریست که اینقدر غوغا کرده ، وگرنه دستان ِ زنی عامی که در دهی دور مشغول ِ کشاورزی و کارگریست نمی تواند به این راحتی چشم داوران آنسوی آبها را نیزخیره کند ، اما دلم گرفت از ریز ریز شدن ِ رنگهای ِ نامرغوبش و عزای ِ روزهایی را گرفتم که تصاویر ِ شگفت انگیزش در اوج ِ بی دادرسی بپوسد.

- گوشهایتان را بانو ! همراه آورده اید ؟

چه خرج ِ تابلوهای بی هویتم کردم ،
رنگهای گران را پای کارهای ارزان ِ بی محتوایم حرام کردم ،
هر افتضاحی را به نام ِسبکی ُمدِرن به تماشاگر تحمیل کردم و اگر هم به مذاقشان خوش نمی آمد ، بی سواد و هنر ناشناس قلمداد ِشان کردم ،
کاش لا اقل َخّیری بودم گشاده دست برای کمک به این همه هنرمند ِ گمنام ِ تنگدست .
شغل ِ عاقبت به خیرتری نبود ؟

به شمانمی گویم هر کسی که میخوانی ام ! . . .

آمده بودم به مهرمندترین ِ پسر ِ شهرم تسلیت بگویم به خاطر ِ کوچ ِ همیشه ی مکرمه اش ، اما جمله ام معیوب و خراب آمد .
آمده بودم و نمی توانستم حتی جمله ای از سر همدردی نثارش کنم .

مادرش دیگر نبود که غم ِ فروش ِ ماده گاوش از ناداری ملا ل انگیزترین لحظه هاش را بسازد و هنرمندانه ترین تابلوهاش را رقم بزند .
تمام شد .
روزهای خستگیش تمام شد.
غم ِنانش تمام شد و مُهر جنون خوردنش ، بی سواد خواندنش ، در اوج نداری ماندنش ، تمام شد.
تمام شد.
تمام . . .
و ما گوشهایمان را پنهان می کنیم و لبخندهای مهربان تحویل می دهیم و وعده های دور .
به شمانمی گویم هر کسی که میخوانی ام ! . . .

- چایتان سرد شده باز بانو !
تلخ است که نمی نوشیدش، می دانم.
اما انگار قندها ی سرزمینم را، زهر ِ این روزهای ِ خسته ، به تاراج برده .
... معذورم بانو
-

و من به قصه ی تازه ای فکر می کردم :

یکی بود که خیلی ها ندیدنش.
توی همین روز گار خسته ی بیهوده ی ملال آور ،
مادری بود از حوالی شمالی ترین روستای دریکنده که فقط ده سال زندگی کرد.
شصت و شش سالگی را تا هفتاد و هفت سالگی .
بقیه اش رنج بود و موضوع نقاشیهاش .
بقیه اش زخم بود و سَر خوردگی .
چهار سال تمام پنهانی نقاشی میکرد ، انگار گناه بزرگی بود هنرش اما بعدترها
جوایز زیادی گرفت ، نمایشگاههای زیادی از کارهای خارق العاده ا ش در کشورهای مختلف برپا شد.
گالری سیحون هم هرسال نمایشگاهی از او داشت که پرطرفدارترین بود.
داوران ِ آنسوی آبها او را با مارک شاگال قیاس کردند چرا که
رنگ را می شناخت بی اوستادی و کتابی که در ده ِ گمگورش کتابهای درسی کودکان هم نایاب بود، چه رسد به کتابهای ِ آموزش ِ نقاشی .
هم امسال بود که به لس آنجلس دعوت شد برای برپایی ِ نمایشگاهی از آثارش .
سال دو هزار و یک هم به عنوان ِ بانوی نقاش ِ سوئد انتخاب شد.
فیلمی بنام " خاطرات و رویاها " درباره ی اوتوسط کارگردان بنام کشورمان ابراهیم مختاری ساخته شد که در چندین فستیوال بین المللی اکران شد
کارگردانی امریکایی به نام " مستر هالی " نیز فیلم مستندی ازو ساخت که در جای خودش حرف نداشت و سرانجام در دوم آبان امسال رفت تا همیشه .

بانو او بود نه من . . .

قصه ام اما تمام نمی شود.
سهم ِ گزیده ترِ قصه ام فرزندش علی بلبلی است که مَرد بود زیرا از روزهای ِ بیشمار ِ جوانی اش برای اثبات ِ هنر ِ مادر رد شد .
قشنگ و بی ادعا می گریست .
کمربسته ی مادر بود و هنرمندی همتای ِ مادر ...
نه به خاطر ِ اینکه خوب می نواخت ، عالی نقاشی می کرد ، نی نوازِ ماهری بود ، که همه اش این بود و این، همه اش نبود .

قصه ی بی تکرارِ فرزندش ، سوء تفاهم سختی نشود برایتان که من اینهمه را به شما نمی گویم کسی که میخوانی ام ، ازخودم خُرده می گیرم ...

Capacity of joking

2006-08-30T17:13:00.000+02:00

I do not know why I always take things so seriously. When I was a child and my father was kidding with me, I started to cry. I looked simple-minded believing the jokes. And still the same story continues. For instance, look at the following email correspondence.

Can you tell me how I can increase my capacity of joking? It has several advantages. First, I will have more fun, especially now that I feel devastated with writing proposal. Secondly, I do not feel stupid.

Hi Everybody,
I hope you are enjoying summer and taking pictures.
Recently, I have set a photoblog, in which I put my favorite pictures.
http://pictureflow.blogspot.com/
Have a look at it if you get some time. I will be happy to hear your comments and suggestions for improving the pictures.
Cheers,
Sara

Hi Sara,
nice to see your still shooting pictures!
Took a look at the blog and looks great. Did you ever follow cources in photography or so?
I'm working on a somewhat similar idea, when it's done I'll dend you a mail.
greets, Michiel

Hi Michel,

I had the course with you in Crea, I was the only non-Dutch speaker.

Thanks for your compliments and I would be happy to hear your suggestions and comments about pictures to improve.

I am looking forward to hear about the photo page your are planning to make.

All the best,
Sara

Hi Sara,
offcourse I know who you are!
It was a joke my question ;-)
Are you doing well?
Maybe later more about the pictures,
Michiel

Copy, pasting the emails, I realised one of my problems is that I do not read the emails carefully. The first step to get the jokes.

In connection to my previous point

2006-08-28T22:53:00.000+02:00

Sometimes I think how we can find this optimum distance that energy is minimum for it.
It does not seem so easy, but it is important, otherwise you will be hurt.

Interactions

2006-08-26T11:52:00.000+02:00

I do not know why, I always have enjoyed making an analogy between physical laws and the governing patterns in a collection of people. The element of will and intelligence makes the dynamics of society much more complicated, though. Nevertheless, I do believe, that we can learn some general trends from this analogy. After all I have not lost anything doing this analogy.
Somehow I want to understand, what are the hidden unwritten rules in social communications. Society reminds me of a large collection of people undergoing interacting Brownian motions. Sometimes clashing, if the population density is high, sometimes dancing together.

From now on, sometimes I will write posts about my observations in society and connecting them to physical laws.

Today, I want to discuss the analogy of two-particle interactions and the relation between two people. The particles of my model system are human beings. The particles have both attractive or repulsive interactions together or neutral, i.e. no interaction energy, this is often the case when particles (people) are far away. This is a good approximation, since at any moment there are features of our friends which we like (attraction) or do not (repulsion).

Therefore our relation with people is the defined in terms of the sum of all these attractions and repulsions. The general behavior that we expect is an interaction potential that is repulsive at very close distances and zero if we are far enough.It has a minimum in between.

If you pass the minimum of interactions, you feel the repulsion.
Therefore the optimum distance for every two people will be the distance at which the total interaction energy is minimized. Of course this distance will depend on the type of interaction between people (the functional dependence of V(r)).

Days روزها

2006-08-24T00:19:00.000+02:00

یک روزهایی پر از هیجان و شادیه.
یک روزهایی هم امیخته به اضطراب و دلهره.
یک روزهایی هم اروم وخنثی . نه خبری نه کسی میاد نه کسی میره.
ولی خب باز هم خوبه. دست کم خبر بد به گوشت نمی خوره.

There are some days full of excitement and joy.
Some other days colored with anxiety and fears
and some days as calm and neutral as possible.
It is still fine, since no news is good news.

11 minutes

2006-08-17T00:46:00.000+02:00

When I was waiting in the queue for security control next to a last minute buy bookshop, I ran into a book of Paulo Coelho with the name “11 minutes”. I had not heard of it before. Knowing the other books of this author, I thought it would be a good reading during my stay in London before sleeping. It turned out to be an interesting book and I really enjoyed reading it.

I think in some sense this book of Coelho has a bit of different flavor from his other books. Although you can see that the same spirit of author governing this one as well.

It is about the life a girl who made her choice to become a prostitute for a short period in her life. I like the way the book is written. First, like some of his other books of him Brida, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept and Veronika Decides to Die, in which he has written with language and the point of view of a woman. When you read it you feel it, as if he tells what your heart wants to say. I don’t know maybe I should not be surprised, because human nature reflects more of the similarity than the difference in sexuality.

This book also impressed me by describing the very first love of the girl with all its sensitivity and fragility. He beautifully expresses the very first dreams and fantasies of girls about their first love. How intense the desire is, how fast the mind goes to plan all the future life, the absolute way of looking at first love that this is it, the first and the last. However it does not take them that long to realize that the game of life is much more intriguing than the simple and colorful world of dreams. People show different reactions when their dreams about their first love do not manifest themselves in reality.
Some just take lessons from it and try to find the prince charm of their life somewhere else and some other time. Another group of people mourn about it and it might take them long if not forever to get over it. Some even show reactions by revenging themselves or the people around them. Independent of approach taken, the image of the first dream remains there in the heart forever.

I found the book instructive as well. Now I understand human being including the prostitutes better. Before I was always wondering how a woman can sell her body to so many people. Although I would never do it, now I can appreciate these people better.

Another point which is very beautifully reflected in this book is the insecurity of men and generally human independent of their status and success. How elegantly he expresses the need of men and women to unite so as to calm down and relieve each other.

There is some irony in the time of reading Coelho books. I read Veronica when I wanted to die and I ran into this book when I felt love. As if there is some synchrony between the times he writes the books and my needs at the moment.

2006-08-13T16:56:00.000+02:00

می شنومش
دردم میاد
ولی تحملش می کنم

I hear it,
It hurts,
But I stand it.

!این باران دیگر شاعرانه نیست

2006-08-12T17:15:00.000+02:00

باران می بارد تند تند
تازیانه می زند بر کوی و بام
صدایش می لرزاند قلب مرا
ترانه اش به خواب نمی برد دیگر مرا
و حس شاعرانه اش سر گشته می چرخد در فضا

If I finish my thesis ….

2006-08-11T23:12:00.000+02:00

All the time I am distracted from working. Although this is in the period that I should work very hard to conclude everything in my PhD on the one hand and arrange something for my postdoc to guarantee my future. Instead of doing and finishing thing all the time I think and plan about the time that I have finished my thesis and settle everything. In order to motivate myself to work hard now to get rid of things, I am going to make a list of things that I would like to do if I have finished things nearly until the end of October.

1- Traveling to Spain, Italy or Greece

2- Buying good Macro lens for myself and enjoy learning photography tricks

3- Attending dancing course

4- Learning ice skating

5- Thinking of a nice cover for my thesis

6- Reading novels, not that I am not reading now, but I want to enjoy my time only reading and not working

7-Learning Greek, Italian and Indian cuisines

Sometimes I think I need either to be organized (to come to work on time and leave on time ) or to find a job that does not need as much effort as a PhD. Any suggestion?

We will see how far I will go in my thesis until November and how much this plan I will afford to implement.

وب نوشت خوانی

2006-08-08T05:05:00.000+02:00

وسط این همه کار تنها کاری که حوصله ام می کشه بکنم وب نوشت خوانی است.
Amonng all the numerous things that I should do the only thing that I feel like doing is reading weblogs.

Woman's Touch

2006-08-04T20:51:00.000+02:00

When I was in London, I visited the Gilbert Collection gallery which is a collection of silver and decorative qualities. Especially, I found the Italian micromosaics very interesting. But the reason that I am writing about this gallery is not the collection. It is the founder of it whose name is Sir Arthur Gilbert. What attracted my attention was that this guy had changed his family name from Bernstein to Gilbert in 1934 when he married Rosalinde Gilbert, a talented young dress designer. Afterwards, they started their own evening gown business with Rosalinde as the designer and Arthur as the salesman, book-keeper. The happy omen of a woman’s touch made him such a good fortune that at the age 36 he was rich enough to get retired.

Considering that this event has been 70 years ago, I find it admirable. I think even now it is quite rare that men change their family name to one of their wives.

2006-07-30T05:06:00.000+02:00

وقتی سر را به ته بچسبانی همه چیز روی یک دایره قرار می گیرد. هر چیزی همان قدر مهم می
شود که می تواند بی اهمیت باشد. در این صورت
می توانی احساس کنی که گم شده ای
یا
احساس بی وزنی کنی و ازش لذت ببری.
در هر صورت ته بطری نوشابه هیچ خبری نیست.

When you connect the bottom to the top, you set everything on a circle. Then, everything becomes as important or unimportant as any other thing. In such a situation
You can feel that you are lost
or
you feel weightless and enjoy this state of suspension.
In any case there is nothing at the bottom of bottle of life.

Women's rights

2006-07-29T20:34:00.000+02:00

It is not only in Iran that women's rights are violated.
I found this weblog interesting.

Parallel lives

2006-07-23T21:20:00.000+02:00

I am reading the book, “One” by Richard Bach; it is a sort of fiction. I like it because of the freedom of his thoughts to fantasize his desired type of world. I enjoy going with the stream of the fiction.
The story is about a couple who under the spell of quantum physics are projected into an alternate world in which they exist simultaneously in many different incarnations. They can travel to the past and future and see the lives their counterparts who live in parallel with them and have chosen different paths for their lives. This might be very far away from reality but I find it fascinating.

Now that I have released myself from the constraints from religion, I can leave a probability for the existence of parallel worlds and being born several times. This gives me more interesting view about life than the religious one. According to the religion you are going to an another world that is supposed to be the reflection of what you have done in your previous life and you will be punished for your mistakes and no more chance for compensation.

However, the feasibility of several lives each time with a different identity but the same entity is an exciting idea. What the author wants to illustrate is the tendency of human to evolve and develop towards a better being. Thinking that there is always an opportunity to experience what you want deep in your heart and compensate your mistakes is very relaxing.

In their trip to future, they visit a counterpart of themselves in the era that there is no more war and instead very exciting air cruise competition shows.
In this period people have reached to a sufficient level of consciousness and perception to realize that disadvantages of hostilities dominate their (if any) rewards. In this golden era everybody has a relative welfare and individuals have learnt how to fulfill their needs and empty their excitements without hurting others. What a nice dream world! How far are we from it? I wish we would be very close to the wonderful world of this fiction.

Why?

2006-07-20T03:23:00.000+02:00

It might be a childish question, but I do not understand why people make war. Do not they see the damages and consequences of it. Is the excitement of winning so much overwhelming?

Radiation تابش

2006-07-19T11:39:00.000+02:00

دلش میخواست بتابد و نورافشانی کند و همه جا و همگان را شاد کند که شعله ی حاصل وجود
.خودش را نیز گرما می بخشید

Started to emit love and everywhere got shiny. The resulting glow rewarded her/him back the eternal energy.

riding سواری

2006-07-18T04:40:00.000+02:00

نمی دانست که اگر همراهی کند با مو ج زندگی و سوار بر ان با لا و پایین برود؛ چشم انداز او از زندگی بسی وسیع تر خواهد بود و زندگی رمز رازهای بیشتری به روی او خواهد گشود.

She did not know that if she follows the streams of the life flow and sit on its waves and goes up and down with them, her vision would be much broader and life would show much more of its intriguing secrets.

2006-07-17T20:55:00.000+02:00

Not far a way from you, but miles a way from your heart. Although it is a long time that the thread of connection is cut, still you are afraid of his leave. What is hidden behind this fear? Chimerical hope to break the wall of disconnection or a conditioned fear from departure?
نزدیک تو هست و از تو فرسنگها فاصله دارد. گرچه مدتهاست تو و او را با هم کاری نیست بازهم می ترسی از رفتنش. چه پشت این ترس نهفته است؟ یک امید واهی به شکستن دیوارجدایی یا ترسی شرطی شده که همواره از جدایی گزیزان است؟

Bewildered

2006-07-06T07:23:00.000+02:00

http://www.fractalartcontests.com/1999/entries/entry-032.htm

Told her: Trust your godfeeling
She seeked for it.
Asked her: what does it tell?
There was silence. Her godfeeling was lost and she was left confused.

2006-07-05T19:24:00.000+02:00

Sometimes a picture tells more.